Why Isn’t He Calling?

by Online Dating on February 17, 2011

Communication can be a challenge in relationships, whether you’ve just met or have been going steady for a while. Although it can make you feel unsure or neglected, it’s important that you understand why he isn’t calling. Here are a few reasons why, and what to do about it.

You Just Met

So you guys just met last night, or only just went out on your frist date, and you’re totally digging him. Why isn’t he calling? Honestly, it could be a few things: It’s too soon for a call and you’re being paranoid, he’s playing it cool, or he’s just not that into you.

What to Do?

  • Wait: He’s not going to call you the minute you give him your number. If he’s playing it cool, then he will try not to be in a hurry to call you. Just leave your phone alone.
  • Don’t spam him with calls, texts or messages on his machine. You’ll scare him off and you definitely won’t get a call.
  • Think: Why would he actually call you? Just because he asked for your number in the bar last night, doesn’t mean he’s going to call. He might have asked for it to be nice. It happens! He might have been drunk when you met, and who knows what he’s up to this morning. Who knows if he was too drunk to tell you he has a girlfriend, or maybe he’s still drunk. Do you still want him to call?
  • If it’s been over 48 hours, forget about him. Even if he seemed perfect, get over it and move on.

He’s Used to You Calling

Relationships can fall into a pattern quickly. If you’re the one that always calls your boyfriend, then you’ve pretty much set the bar — and it can be a tough one to overcome. In this case, if he’s not calling, it’s because you are.

What to Do?

  • Test: See if he will call you after a short time of no contact. Let’s hope he wonders what’s going on and he’ll call you up. If he isn’t calling you at all, even after not being in touch for a while, then perhaps there are bigger questions you need to ask yourself other than, “why isn’t he calling?”
  • Don’t give in right away, because it’s just reinforcing his bad habit.
  • Sit down and talk to him about it. Let him know that he should make an effort to maintain contact. When he gets comfortable in the relationship, he may feel it’s OK to let calling slip without major consequences.

He’s Just Not That Into You

Yeah, it’s pretty clichéd, but seriously take it into consideration. If you’ve been waiting, and you know he’s not attempted to contact you at all, he’s not into you. Guys who like girls will call them. And these days we not only have calling, but texting, Twitter and Facebook to make that connection. There’s no excuse!

What to Do?

  • Get over it and move on.

[Image via tumblr]

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