Should You Take Your Ex Back?

by Online Dating on July 5, 2011

Break ups happen for a reason, but sometimes we consider taking our exes back. There are times when couples can reconcile whatever differences they had and work through everything, but many times it’s not so easy — or recommended. Here are a few things to consider if you’re asking yourself whether or not you should take your ex back.

Question Things

So, things usually go a few ways: Your break up is mutual, you leave your partner, or they leave you. If your break up is mutual, or you left them, there’s probably very good reason, and you’re ready to move on anyway. Let’s work under the assumption that they left you. Consider the reasons why they left you, so you can better decide whether or not to take them back. A few of them could be:

  • Someone Else: All situations are different, but it’s generally a bad idea to take a person like this back.
  • Boredom: Your relationship became predictable, and they want to find something exciting again. They probably won’t break this fickle habit, so be wary.
  • Peer/Family Pressure: Pressure from your ex’s friends and family could have driven them away. This is also a tough fix, especially if they’re not willing to reach a compromise with their social circle.
  • Life Changes: If your ex has gone through life changes, hangs out in a new social circle and has a new life in which you don’t fit, then chances are that won’t change either.
  • Emotionally Unstable: Don’t even touch this one with a ten foot pole. They’ll just bring you along for the crazy ride.
  • Player: If your ex gets off on their sexual power, then they’ll just use you again for an ego boost.

Why would they want to come back?

Are they bored of their new fling? Is their new partner abusive or a player? Or do they genuinely care about you and sincerely want to fix things? Only you can decide.

Try to Be Rational

Make a rational decision. Many times after a break up, things are cloudy and you’re more vulnerable to taking your ex back. Don’t feel like you should get back together because you “can’t do better,” you’re desperate for sex, or you feel bad for your ex. That’s not fair for either of you.

In the end, the decision is yours, but let your head catch up with your heart.

RELATED READING

  • 7 Rules of Cross-Cultural Dating

  • Tips for Taking a Break in Your Relationship

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