After a breakup, it can be hard to get back onto the dating scene. Relationships represent a huge investment of time, energy, hopes and dreams, and when it doesn’t work out, we need time to heal before moving on. Rebound relationships can be tricky, especially for the conscientious dater who doesn’t want to see anyone else get hurt. Ask yourself the following questions when trying to decide if the time is right:

  • How serious were you about your last relationship? If your heart was fully invested, chances are the breakup was hard on you, too. Friends may suggest online dating or blind dates as a way to encourage you to heal, but their advice may be missing the mark. Only you can decide when it’s time to start seeing new people again.
  • How often do you think about your ex? If the answer is more than once a day, chances are you’re not ready to move on. Questions linger in our minds long after a relationship ends. We may be unsure of ourselves, doubt our choice in partners, or wonder if the right one is even “out there.” If you’re still mulling over every detail of your last relationship, meeting someone new will only divert your attention temporarily. It may not be kind to “use” someone this way, and you aren’t very likely to find that special someone when you’re still hung up on past mistakes.
  • What are your reasons for wanting to date? If your primary reason is to forget about someone who once meant a lot to you, your energies might be better invested elsewhere. Take a few night classes or plan a vacation instead. It will give you something to focus on without jeopardizing your emotions.

There’s no set amount of time that one must wait after ending one relationship before starting to date again. Any attempt at quantifying the “right” amount of time for someone to heal after a breakup is pure speculation, and not usually helpful. Getting back in the game is a very personal choice. Just make sure you’re making the decision for the right reasons, and you aren’t likely to let yourself down or hurt someone else in the process.

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Tips For Dating On A Budget

by Online Dating on May 18, 2012

Many people have been hard-hit by the down economy, and saving money is nothing to be ashamed of. Most folks think you have to spend a lot to impress your date, but the reality is you don’t. Of course you don’t want to appear cheap, and you want to make sure your date feels important, but spending a lot of money isn’t the only way to achieve that. Consider these ideas for dating on a budget:

  • Go out for ice cream instead of meeting for dinner. When you’re just meeting someone new through an online dating site or even if you’ve been seeing this person for a while, a simple ice cream outing can be a fun way to spend a date, and it doesn’t have to empty your wallet.
  • Go to the skating rink. Indoor and outdoor skating rinks offer a fun way to connect with your date regardless of the season. They also give you a special ingredient, nostalgia, which can make any date feel more special.
  • Make dinner for your date. If you have cooking skills, this is a great time to show them off. You’ll also be able to set a romantic mood and limit distractions at home, in addition to saving a few bucks.
  • Go for a hike. Many state, city, and national parks have ridiculously low admission fees and plenty of space for hiking. Take along a picnic lunch and spend some time in the great outdoors. You’ll probably learn a lot more about the other person than you could sitting in a movie theater, and the exercise will get your blood pumping.
  • Double dating can be a lot of fun, and doesn’t have to be expensive either. Invite another couple over for a night of cards or board games. Make an inexpensive but appetizing meal and ask them to bring a bottle of wine or dessert.
  • Check out a museum. There are so many different kinds of museums, and every state has its own specialties. The admission costs are generally low, and you can save even more money when you buy a year-long membership.

Getting spendy on a date has been taken as a sign in the past — it signaled financial stability and showed that you were willing to spend a little money to make sure your date had a good time. These days, however, reining in the spending isn’t likely to offend, since everyone knows that times are tough. And hey, financial responsibility is nice to have in a partner.

We just stumbled across WhyTheyreSingle.com and it’s a hilarious collection of online dating experiences of the weird and awesome. Here are some of our favorite creepers and winners from the site.

Creepers

Have Herpes?

Ok, so I get those dating sites designed for people with STDs — there are even a couple specifically for those with herpes. And that’s great, because there are daters of all types, and sites like PostitiveSingles help singles connect. Hey, this guy wants someone with herpes? No biggie… oh, wait. He doesn’t have herpes.

Hannibal

I can understand someone who needs their privacy, but this is too much. You’re on an online dating site — show your face! If you want to get creative with masks or costumes, at least hold off on the ski mask with the side of creepy. Apparently, the person who submitted this photo to WhyTheyreSingle said that they blocked this person over and over, but they kept messaging them. Eek!

Click through for more →

You meet a great guy or gal while you’re out and would like to connect online. Facebook has almost 1 billion users now, so it may come as a surprise to meet someone who doesn’t have a profile. What if they don’t? It could be any number of reasons, most of them good ones. You don’t need a Facebook profile! But what if they don’t have one for the wrong reasons? After asking a few friends about their dating adventures online, we picked up on three red flag reasons why someone wouldn’t have a Facebook profile.

  • Lack of self-restraint – They may be the type of person that just can’t help but share everything about their wild nights out — risque photos, drunken status updates, you name it. What we won’t know is whether they’re doing it to hide the fact that they’re a wild child, or that they genuinely don’t want to enable themselves. This type of person may be fun to hang out with, but they may say or do things before thinking. And that could end badly.
  • Player gonna play – This type may want to stay off Facebook to avoid revealing their player status. How will they date multiple people if they can all find him or her on Facebook? Even keeping a private Facebook page would be too much to keep up with. Private message here, hidden status there… If you’re not looking for anything long-lasting, this may be the perfect type of person for you. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with a little fun. Just remember to not get hurt.
  • Tech scrooge – This type is uncomfortable with technology. It could be that they don’t have enough time to keep up with Facebook, and that’s fine. It’s a whole different story if they lack the patience or interest in learning about it. Will they have the patience or interest in learning about other new things? Again, with Facebook, it’s not always a bad thing, but if you are way into Facebook, then the two of you may butt heads. It could even extend beyond Facebook, and they may not be interested in technology at all. If it’s important that your date be into it, then you should probably move on. To each his or her own!

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Tips To Find Your Soul Mate

by Online Dating on May 11, 2012

“Finding your soul mate” is a cliché that is often overused, especially in the online dating world. People just want to find a deeply committed loving mate who is also their most trusted friend. They also want to be in a long lasting relationship with that person.

For some, finding a soul mate may be easy, but it isn’t for everyone. Here are some things to remember when searching for your soul mate.

  • Know what characteristics you are looking for in your soul mate. Decide what characteristics are really important to you. Know what qualities are going to make you happy. Is it a problem if your potential mate doesn’t cook? Or is that a trivial problem that you can over look?
  • Believe in the soul mate idea. There is a perfect person out there for everyone. Understand that true love exists you just haven’t found it. Maybe you already know the person. That person might be right in front of you, but you don’t know it because you don’t believe in the idea of a true soul mate.
  • Clear your life of the immature drama that surrounds people. Are you too needy or demanding? These are immature personality flaws that cause drama and don’t allow for a respectful relationship. There is no room for immaturity in a true love connection.
  • Allow yourself to date. Date a variety of people so you know who is out there. Dating is a great way to get to know people and that takes some time. In reality most people don’t meet the love of their life on the first try. That is saved for the movies.
  • Learn from your past mistakes. If you dated Mr. or Ms. Wrong, figure out what were the problems in the relationship. If you need to fix something about yourself, fix it and get on with your life. Dwelling on past relationships is better left for those still in high school
  • Try different approaches to dating. Don’t be close minded about where you’ll find your perfect mate. Let your friends set you up on the blind date they have been wanting to. Go to singles events in your area and you will see you’re not alone in the quest for a soul mate. Use online dating services. These sites allow you to list your most personal feelings and beliefs, which when compatible are the foundation of a strong relationship.
  • Have faith. Believe that you’re going to find your soul mate. You need to have the “never give up” attitude. Once your mind is open to the idea of true love, your heart will follow.
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