Carnival of Online Dating Welcome to the March 7, 2012 edition of the Carnival of Online Dating! This is the twenty-fourth edition of the blog carnival, and we really appreciate those who have submitted their links for inclusion. We have a big carnival this week! Spread the word: The next Carnival of Online Dating will be March 21, 2012, so make sure to get your submissions in by 8:59pm PST/11:59pm EST Tuesday March 20.

Dating Tips & Advice

Sex and Seduction

Be sure to tune in every 1st and 3rd Wednesdays for more! The next Carnival of Online Dating will be March 21st, 2012, so make sure to get your submissions in by 8:59pm PST/11:59pm EST Tuesday March 20th!

That concludes this edition. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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Online Dating: When You Bump Into Your Ex

by Hayley Quinn on March 6, 2012

Online Dating Videos

Is your memory a steel trap? Do you hold on to every little thing your other half does just in case you have to use it later on in an argument? To some degree, people hold on to things in relationships and it does no good. Here are some things to remember so you can forgive — and forget — your way to a better relationship.

Every Day is a New Day

One of the best things to do in forgiving and forgetting you way to a better relationship is to see each day as a new day. A clean slate, as you will. Having the same argument over and over frays nerves and could drive the two of you apart. Sometimes while arguing, past things will slip their way into it, “Remember that time you forgot the milk and we couldn’t bake my mom that cake?” Just move on. Enjoy every day with your sweetie and don’t drag the past back in. Well, if you do it, do it for good, not troublemaking.

Will It Matter?

Just as you shouldn’t bring the dirty past onto your clean slate of the present, don’t sweat the small stuff. Ask yourself, “Will this matter in two days, two weeks? In two years?” Think of something that you held onto years ago — how did it change things today? Does it feel silly that you held the grudge? It wastes time and energy and puts a strain on your relationship when you hold onto grudges, so take a deep breath and let go.

It’s NOT All In The Details

I can be a “Type A” person, so those little things can get to me. Little details, those little things that bother you can add up for sure — if you let them. Trust me, that unscrewed toothpaste cap shouldn’t be controlling your life. If certain things are bugging you, well, I’m sure certain things you do bug your partner. If I sound like I’m repeating myself here, well, I pretty much am. The theme here is to relax a bit and let go. Don’t completely lose yourself, but see that there are things in the long run that matter and things that don’t.

Keeping Score Is For Sports

There’s probably some internal list you’re keeping of things your other half has done, or not done. Throw it away. Burn it. Forget it. Do whatever you can to stop keeping “score” in your relationship. It’s not a game. Keep the scoreboard to sports! There’s no win-win in doing this, so if there’s something you need to get of your chest, talk to your sweetie about it. If you don’t get it out there and move on, you may be referring to him or her by “ex” soon enough.

Although we cover a variety of online dating and relationship tips, there are times when a situation is too unique for an umbrella topic. Or maybe we just haven’t covered something yet! That’s why we’re going to do an Ask Online Dating U every once in a while. At Online Dating University, we’re here for you, so send us your questions!

My SO and I are both 26. We’ve been dating for almost a year. This is the first guy I’ve been with that actually respects me and I’m madly in love with him, so I really don’t want us to break up, but there’s a problem. He has a really bad stutter and has difficulty speaking in general. I know I seem shallow, but that might honestly be a deal breaker.

I find it really difficult to have a conversation with him. It’ll take him 15 minutes to explain a simple concept that should take no more than 30 seconds. When he doesn’t know exactly what he’s going to say before he says it, he’ll use all the wrong words (to the point where the sentence makes no sense) and I’m left trying to decipher it. Things rarely extend beyond a 1-3 word answer in our “conversations,” because he is fine with those.

This isn’t because he is unintelligent by any means; he is far smarter than me. He has a PhD and has published several papers. His writing is phenomenal. Whenever we IM or text it’s like he’s a totally different person. He’s quick, eloquent, and explains his position extremely well (it’s pretty clear that it is something he has practiced – probably to aid in writing for those that don’t understand his field at a high level).

I guess I’m just getting really frustrated at it all. It’s always been frustrating, but more so now for some reason. This is a guy I’d definitely see myself marrying if it weren’t for this. I guess I just can’t imagine being unable to hold a conversation with my partner. I don’t know if this makes me shallow or what. I really don’t want to break up, but I can’t see where else this relationship could end up. Am I being irrational?

I can imagine that having a stutter would be extremely frustrating. Not being able to say exactly what you want to? I can also imagine how special you are to him — he’s comfortable enough with you to let you see him struggle with his stutter.

Now, getting to your pickle: Leaving him because of his stutter is, in my opinion, a bit shallow. How much do you love him? Does he love you that much, too? You should consider what leaving him could do to him mentally. His stutter is something he has to face daily, if you were to leave him because of it, it could increase his struggle.

Having a stutter isn’t the end of the world — put things into perspective. Has he tried speech therapy? It works wonders for many people. And even if his stutter isn’t entirely cured, it will make it more manageable day to day.

If you really do care for him, and this is the only problem causing a roadblock in the relationship, help him overcome it! Support him. When you’re with someone for the long haul, getting through the tough patches strengthens the relationship. I’m sure your support would mean a lot to him!

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Online Dating: 3 Tips For Telling Great Stories

by Hayley Quinn on March 1, 2012

Online Dating Videos

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