It has happened to the best of us. That time you thought she was the one not too long after meeting? The problem is, falling for someone fast means that you’re probably not falling for who this person is, but more of who you want this person to be.
So, how do you know if you’re falling fast? You may be: obsessed, together often, in constant contact, feel on Cloud 9, and you may not be able to keep your hands off of him/her. Although some of those can be part of a healthy relationship, if you’re experiencing these signs while in a new relationship, you should take a step back. Falling fast can feel amazing, but you’re risking serious heartbreak. So, what do you do? Go slow. Here are a few ways to get ahead in your relationship by going slow:
1. Controlled Contact
It can be tempting to check in on your new squeeze — often. But if you Facebook message, email, IM, text, etc. every day, your new someone becomes a central part of your life before you know whether or not they deserve it. Keep your emails and calls to a few times per week until things gradually move forward.
2. Limiting Time
It can also be tempting to spend all of your free time together. It’s a rush! At the start of a new relationship, it’s best to get together maybe once, at most, twice per week. Live your own life and keep things separate — for now — so you can objectively assess your new relationship without becoming dependent on this new companion.
3. Keeping Boundaries
So, as fun as it is to indulge in fantasies of your new guy or gal 24/7, it can do more harm than good. It can preoccupy you with more of what you imagine this person to be than what they’re really like. Like #2, keep your mind on your life when you’re apart — for the most part — and let your mind wander every once and a while to get your engines revving.
