You were friends before, but you want to turn the heat up. It always seems easier than it turns out to be, but having a friends with benefits arrangement can still be fun. Here are a few tips for what to do and what to expect when you’re friends with benefits.
Ground Rules
A little planning can go a long way. As much as we’d like things to work naturally, this is something that can get complicated without the proper care. Consider this:
- When and where to show public affection, and what’s OK to do.
- Who’s allowed to know.
- Watch what you say. Things like, “I love how you…” or “I love your…” can start to sound more like “I love you.”
- Time frame: Try to have some sort of time frame, because the longer this goes on, the more complicated emotions can get. And know when to stop, especially once you’re dating someone else.
The Upsides
- It’s comfortable. Since you’re dealing with a friend, you’ll generally be more comfortable around them.
- It’s convenient. Sex can be just a text away — you can avoid the whole flirting and dating thing.
- No strings sex. Easy sex without the things that come along with a full-blown relationship is one of the biggest things attracting people to the FWB arrangement. Just be honest from the start.
The Downsides
- Someone could — and probably will — become attached.
- Ruining friendships: Honestly, it’s best to be FWB with a friend that’s not as close. Many times these arrangements end in disaster, so try not to put your close friendships on the line.
- Complicating future friendships: In the future, if your partner finds out that you were FWB with one of your current friends, they may be suspicious.
Watch Out!
Being in a friends with benefits relationship should come with an instruction manual — and a warning label. Since we’re not that lucky, here are a few things to look out for:
- The End: It will come, usually when one person meets the other, or when the arrangement implodes under all of the complications.
- Feelings: Feelings can develop over time, and most of the time it’s not mutual. Beware, and stay grounded.
- Meeting other people can become harder, especially if you’re spending too much time with your FWB.
[Image via Tumblr]
