Dating Tips

Blind Date Tips

by Online Dating on November 11, 2011

For the most part, blind dating is not all that different from any other kind of dating — the basic date elements are there, but you should exercise more caution in general. When looking for love, most people have a checklist of sorts, but while blind dating you should be willing to throw at least some of it out. Here are a few blind date tips to help you on your way.

It Takes Time

It takes time to truly get to know someone, so keep that in mind while on your blind date. First impressions are important, but they’re not the end-all be-all of someone’s story. Attraction can grow with time, too. Ideally, you want a relationship with both sexual and mental chemistry. So, although you may feel a sexual connection with someone, feel out whether or not you’d be compatible beyond that. It goes both ways: The closer you connect in a friendly way can bring two people together sexually.

Don’t Let Your Past Run the Show

All of your past relationships — the disappointments, hurts, experiences — are running the show. Your beliefs and perceptions shape your opinion of the blind date. Is she like your mother? Is he like your ex-husband? Will things end up how they did in past relationships? It’s good to learn from from past experiences, but don’t allow yourself to move away from things that are unfamiliar to you.

Set Yourself Up for a Second Date

Setting up a fun date, being interesting, and most of all, paying attention to your date are all key to getting a second date. Asking your date questions will let them know you’re interested in getting to know them.

Be Safe

It’s nice to be set up on a blind date by a friend or family member because you get the chance to meet someone they think would be good for you — your friends and family can act as a filter. If you’re meeting a blind date via an online dating website or something similar, be safe. Don’t meet your date in a secluded location.

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Online Dating: Giving Off Girlfriend Vibes

by Hayley Quinn on November 10, 2011

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For a number of reasons, building trust when you’re involved in online dating can be more challenging than it is in a traditional dating scenario. In addition, it’s often more important to be able to build trust when you’re involved in online dating. You need to be able to convince the other person that you are who you say you are, and that you aren’t a rotten, lying, cheating scumbag. The essential element of any good relationship is trust, and you have to establish that before you can get too far at all.

What is trust, exactly? Ideally, it’s a reciprocal relationship in which you believe in and rely on another person who feels the same way about you. Making that happen in online dating is difficult, but not impossible. Here are some things you can to do demonstrate your trustworthiness to that special person:

  • Be honest. The basis for trustworthiness is honesty. If you’re 5’8” tall, don’t claim to be 6’ tall. If you’ve just gotten out of a long-term relationship, be upfront about that. If you’re unemployed, say so. While you don’t need to just sort of broadcast every potential fault, you also don’t want to seem like the kind of person who covers up his faults.
  • Be trusting. Trust is a reciprocal relationship. If you’re constantly suspicious of someone in an online dating setting, it’s no wonder that they won’t trust you either. Trust engenders trust. At the same time, you need to be smart about it and make sure the person is trustworthy before you make that step.
  • Be thoughtful. It’s easy to fudge a detail in the middle of telling a story to make it sound more interesting than it was, or to put yourself in a better light. In some cases, it’s a matter of just forgetting a detail and inserting a new one in its place. It is these little lies that will put off many potential partners. Make sure you know what you’re talking about before you open your mouth.

Building trust isn’t easy, but if you’re going to have any success in online dating you’re going to have to figure out how to make it happen.

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How To Find What You’re Looking For

by Online Dating on November 4, 2011

You’ve probably been on plenty of dates. You may have even had a few relationships. Still, something isn’t clicking for you with the people you’ve dated in the past so you use online dating sites to help filter out the noise. They connect you with people you should have something in common with, right? So why is it that none of these potential matches feels right?

  1. Do you really know what you’re looking for? Some people are just looking to make friends out there, and that’s OK. Friendships are a good testing ground to see what might develop down the road. If you aren’t looking for friends, or you don’t want to spend a lot of time messing around before the serious dating starts, be upfront about that, and you won’t waste a lot of time with people who aren’t looking for that special someone.
  2. Watch for personality cues. Many online dating sites use personal hobbies and interests as a way to match up candidates, but there’s a lot you can’t tell about a person from simply what’s on paper. Maybe you and your date both score high on the sense of humor scale, but you don’t find his jokes funny, nor he yours. That’s a pretty good sign you’re not going to hit it off, so don’t feel bad about ending things and moving on.
  3. Discuss the important things. Many first dates tend to feel like a stiff interview, and no one likes to feel put on the spot. A lot of surface questions, though, don’t reveal much about your date, so consider your questions thoughtfully. If family ties are important to you, ask your date about her relationship with hers. Be careful how you pose the question though. A simple, “How’s your relationship with your parents?” is likely to get a short answer: “Good.” Instead, try asking about the last time she did something fun with her family. You’ll probably get a good story, and learn a little bit about family relations as well.
  4. Avoid talking about the future. Many people who are really looking for that right person to settle down with will ask too many questions about what their date wants in the future. The truth is, future plans may change based on any number of factors, not the least of which is your relationship itself. Kids may come along sooner or later than planned, and career plans are never certain. Instead of future plans, find out what you can about the other person’s dreams, goals, and aspirations. It will tell you more about their character and values, which a better basis for deciding if there’s a match.

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