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Should You Let Your Ex Back Into Your Life?

by Online Dating on February 13, 2012

For most, it’s much easier getting someone out of your life than it is getting them back in. Putting the pieces back together can be a challenge, especially if trust has been broken. The mantra, “an ex is an ex for a reason” aids in moving on, but sometimes letting an ex back into your life is worth considering.

When you get rid of someone toxic in your life, it can feel mixed — you might get a sick stomach or even an ego boost. But, depending on why you broke up in the first place and your current love life circumstances, your ex may sound convincing. It brings you back to a time when you felt normal, comfortable.

I know, I know, I’ve said before that most times it’s best to just move on, but you should shift your perspective if your ex comes knocking at your door. If the two of you were in a relationship that you just weren’t ready for, it may be worth considering again. Now, don’t get me wrong: If you were with someone emotionally or physically abusive, an adulterer or someone like that, then this is NOT who I’m talking about possibly getting back together with.

If you’re willing and ready to work through the past and fast forward to the present, you may be ready to let an ex back into your life. When one becomes a forgiving person, and lets go of the past, you’re able to shift your relationship with time.

Ask yourself: Would I get back together with my ex because I feel sorry for him or do I want to be with him? Does this feel right? Did we break up due to something we’re willing to work on? Will we be able to change things enough to strengthen our relationship?

Whatever your answers may be, if you decide to get together again, keep your mind in the present, not the past.

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Surviving A Valentine’s Day Breakup

by Online Dating on February 8, 2012

If you’re slumping around on Valentine’s Day, scraping the bottom of a gallon tub of ice cream, cradling your phone like it will never ring again and wandering around with a blank look on your face, chances are you just got dumped. Believe it or not, life is going to go on whether you crawl out of bed or not. A nice thought that might motivate you to get up and go is that hardly anybody is going to find the right person right away, so this breakup is one more down until you do find that person. If the breakup came suddenly, you probably still have it in your head that he or she was the one.

It’s a discussion that you’ll have to have with yourself, in deciding whether or not to try to get your ex back, but this can be saved for a later date — in the state you’re in, you couldn’t get them back anyhow. Whether you want to reconcile or not, the only choice you really have is to start moving on anyway. So for now, you have to figure out how to live your life again.

Think back to before the breakup, and what you used to do for fun when you didn’t have to count him or her in for your weekend plans. Even if it’s as simple as calling up your single friends and going out for dinner, it’s a step towards getting you back on your feet. You had a life before you got into the relationship and you have to find your life after you get out of the relationship. This is a time period for you to redefine and solidify who you are and get the enjoyment you had out of life before you had to compromise. If you start to look at your breakup as an opportunity, it will become easier to move on and work through the pain.

While starting anew, perhaps consider going to the gym and get into fitness and focus on that, maybe even getting bedtime protein – best buy in the UK or changing your haircut and style. Buy some new clothes for yourself, things that make you feel confident — even things that you stopped wearing while you were in a relationship. Spice yourself up and start to replace your self-doubt with self-confidence. This is one step you can’t afford to miss out on, as it is a step that will help you get through and survive your breakup more than anything else.

Finally, after you have enough time and distance from the breakup, you need to look back and reflect upon the relationship and really evaluate it. Even if it feels like it, breakups do not appear out of thin air. Once you can pinpoint why it happened, you can find closure and shut the door on it — this will allow you to finally heal and move on with your life, and even begin dating again.

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