Advice

Why Online Dating?

by Online Dating on April 23, 2012

From a small town to a big city, if you start to feel like you’re dating the same type of person, or that you’ve run out of eligible partners, it’s probably because you’ve gotten yourself into a routine and/or social circle that only holds so many prospects. Even if you feel like there is no one new to date or is worth a shot to date, you know that can’t be true — there are billions of people in the world. This is why many people have turned to online dating to find new potential dating matches.

There’s a certain thrill to meeting up with someone you have only been dating online, because people are more apt to open themselves up and let each other see their true colors online. When you’re dating online, you simply have to close a window to get out of a conversation, and know you will never have to hear from that person again, so you are more likely to take a risk, which often pays off.

Of course, it should be noted that the same way you let your guard down because you know the other person can’t see you, the other person knows you cannot see them as well. You’re definitely putting yourself at risk of being taken advantage of or even placing yourself into potential dangerous situation if you’re not protecting your privacy. It’s easy for someone to say they’re a well-mannered guy, but the truth is, you could be speaking to someone who doesn’t have the best of intentions. Don’t let this discourage you, though! But the point does need to be made. Always meet a potential date in a public place so you’re out in the open. Have a plan just in case things go south — there are nifty mobile apps out there that can help you get out of a disaster date.

Negativity aside, there are many stories of people who actually meet their matches online. How? Well, I believe it’s a combination of luck, timing, and work. Work? Yes! You should keep you profile fresh and reach out to possible matches as often as you can, sometimes it comes down to a numbers game, as bad as it sounds. Online dating gives you the ability to filter many people at once according to your preferences — imagine if you could do this in real life! If other methods are getting you down, perhaps you should consider jumping on an online dating site.

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How To Spring Clean Your Online Dating Profile

by Online Dating on April 19, 2012

Spring Cleanin Your Profile It’s the perfect time to get to spring cleaning, so why not include your online dating profile? After a while, many things may become stale and out of date, so give yourself the best chance of finding a match! But, what to focus on? Here are a few suggestions on how you can spring clean your online dating profile into tip-top shape.

  1. Hobbies – Have you taken up any new hobbies? If you went to a ceramics class and discovered that you’re more arts and crafts rather than Michelangelo, that’s ok! Strut your stuff on your profile either way, your various hobbies make you more interesting!
  2. Profile Photos – How old is your profile photo? How stale are the rest of your photos? The basic rule of thumb is that your primary profile picture should be less than a year old. If it’s an old photo, especially if it doesn’t represent how you currently look, take a new photo. Need some inspiration? Head outside and take a few spring or summer themes photos to liven up your profile.
  3. Interests – You may have quite a few interests listed, so be sure to go over that section, too! Your favorite author may be listed as Shakespeare, but if you’ve just stumbled upon George R. R. Martin’s Game of Thrones series, and you’ve discovered a new love of the sci-fi genre, you may want to add that. People on online dating sites are looking for a connection, so show a bit of variety in your interests.
  4. Other – So, you know those fill-in-the-blank and multiple choice questions you completed — or didn’t complete — when you first signed up? Don’t forget about them! Something you chose a while back may not apply now. Did you quit drinking? Is any of your personal info out of date? Be sure to go through all of the sections in your profile to give it a nice, fresh update.

There are definitely stereotypes when it comes to women and sports, but they’re being shattered every day by amazing female athletes and women who enjoy watching sports. But what do you do when you’d like to watch sports with your guy, but you’re so lost? Here are a few do’s and don’ts for watching sports with him.

  1. DO listen. If his team is going through a rough patch, let him vent. If they just scored massively, give him a high five! Just show him that you’re there to listen, even if it’s about poor play calls and you don’t quite follow. Don’t simply smile and nod, be sincere about it — this is important to him.
  2. DO have fun. I learned a lot about sports just by watching. I didn’t have a brother to teach me, and my dad wasn’t so interested, but I had guy friends that were more than willing to answer any questions I had. You can learn, too! Sit back and take it all in. If you watch enough, you can pick up on different plays and rules — impress your guy!
  3. DO watch it with him. Go for it! Sit down with him to watch the game, and he’ll enjoy the company. If you’re genuinely interested in the game, and learning more about the sport, he’ll appreciate that you’re connecting with him on one of his favorite things.
  4. DON’T interrupt him. During a heated part of the game, nothing annoys guys more than if you’re continually talking. It’s great to ask questions, but he’s probably super-focused on the action. He doesn’t want to miss that history-making move! If you have a question, definitely go for it — just wait for a commercial, time out, or other break in game action.
  5. DON’T take his mood to heart. On a final note, don’t take offense to a (possible) bad mood. So, if the team your guy is rooting for isn’t exactly doing well, he might be a little grumpy. Don’t take offense if he gets snappy if you ask a question just after a heated moment, or if screams at the TV. This stuff happens often, and is just another part of how he enjoys watching the game.

You may want a real relationship right now, but are you ready for one? I know I’ve been in the situation before where all I wanted was to be in that comfortable spot of couplehood, but that was the problem exactly — I wasn’t comfortable alone. Once you work on yourself can you only begin to consider a relationship. Here are a few signs you may not be ready for a relationship, and what you can do to get there.

You Feel “Off”

So, you’re out on a date with this awesome guy or girl, but they’re not someone who you’d normally get with. Oh, but he’s a bad boy. Oh, she’s wild. I need that right now. If your inner “radar” keeps pointing you towards the wrong people, you may not be ready for a relationship. This can happen when you’re subconsciously trying to sabotage the relationship before it really begins. If he or she’s not relationship material, why bother? If you’re looking for a relationship, that is. If you’re convinced that you can change this bad boy/player/slut/material girl/insert-negative-term-here, well, stop to think. Do you really believe that you can change him or her? You may be turned off of forming a deeper relationship right now.

You Need Someone To Feel Happy

Do you feel bummed unless you’re with someone? Are you turning down invites to events because you don’t have that special someone to bring? Don’t spend your time sitting home by yourself feeling forever alone. Even if you go out solely to meet someone, in this mindset, you’d probably end up strangling the relationship to death with your neediness. Find what makes you happy before you’re in a relationship so you can share that with someone later.

You’re Trying To Fit Into Their World

Do you find yourself trying to be something or someone other than who you are? Not good. If you’re often trying to change something about yourself in order to seem more attractive to that guy or girl you just met, then you’re probably not ready for a relationship. Be more confident! Love yourself before loving someone else.

You’re Looking For Someone To Complete You

“You complete me” sounds so romantic, but it really isn’t how you should start a relationship. It’s more like, “you complement me.” When you’re a whole person — someone with unique interests and personality — finding someone else to complement those things will feel amazing.

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5 Ways To Apologize

by Online Dating on April 16, 2012

Every couple is different. Even in the relationships outside of our romantic ones — family, friends, etc. — there will likely be a time when an apology is necessary. So, how do you give a sincere apology? Turns out, we all have our own way of doing it, and that’s ok. Here are 5 different ways of apologizing.

Expressing Regret

You may be the type that apologizes by showing remorse for what you’ve done. If you do, be clear about what you’re apologizing for so it’s sincere. You shouldn’t act like you’re sorry that you were caught, so be sure your apology doesn’t start off with, “I’m sorry if…” You don’t want to put the blame on the other person.

Accepting Responsibility

Another way to apologize is to accept responsibility. Accept fault for what you did wrong, and be sure to be specific. It’s all about communication and mending the relationship. It’s far easier to say, “you’re right,” than “I’m wrong,” but the latter carries more meaning. It carries more weight.

Making Amends

Sometimes it feels right to apologize by making amends. How can you make things right? How is your S.O. doing? How can you restore confidence in the other person? You may already know the answer — sometimes you know exactly what to do to make things right, but sometimes you need feedback from your partner.

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