Are You Sabotaging Your Relationship?

by Online Dating on January 25, 2012

Being mindful in your dating approach will get you far. If you feel like your relationships just aren’t sticking, then perhaps you’re prone to sabotaging them. Here are 4 behaviors that indicate that you may be sabotaging your relationship.

Soul Mate… At First Sight

If you believe your date is your soul mate from first meeting, you may be sabotaging your relationship. Hey, I’m a hopeless romantic, and I believe in love at first sight. BUT I still believe that you should approach the relationship slowly to allow it to flourish naturally. Don’t set yourself up for heartache by convincing yourself that you’ve met your soul mate after your first two dates. It’s great to be positive, but relationships need a solid foundation to survive. Besides, are you sure that your date is on the same wavelength as you?

Morally Mismatched

Accepting things about your date that don’t match your own values, morals, or vision of the relationship can put you on the road to sabotaging your relationship. If you find yourself questioning things your date does, you’re probably not a match. Many people, eager to have a relationship, often overlook or settle for someone who doesn’t share the same morals and values — that’s no good. You don’t want to turn the one you’re dating into the fantasy person you created in your head. It’s fine to have difference of interests, but not of values, morals, and vision.

Sex Too Soon

If you have sex right away in your relationship — either it started that way, or just a date or so in — you might be sabotaging your relationship. I know, I know, this subject is controversial, because every couple is different. In general, it’s best to wait as long as possible for sexual intimacy because it makes things complicated. Once you have sex, it can cloud your judgement — is this person the right match for you? You could end up being connected solely by sex. So, if you’re only going for a relationship like that, power to you! If you want something for the long haul, hold off for a bit. There are other things you can do to feel physically and intimately close.

Eager Beaver

This one goes hand in hand with the first point: If you’re overly eager to move the relationship forward, you may be sabotaging your relationship. Many folks that have just ended a long-term, monogamous relationship often find themselves eager to get in that same comfort zone again with someone new. Dating — not sleeping — around isn’t everyones thing, but it will allow you to meet new people and potentially someone you’ll stick with for the long-term. Focusing too much on locking someone in right away can distract you from noticing important red flags and truly determining whether or not you’re compatible. Or worse, you could scare him or her off!

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