Nobody can be perfect all the time, so it’s not surprising that a relationship between two people will occasionally break down. Just because a relationship has hit a rough spot does not mean it is necessarily time to give up — with that attitude you will never make it in a long term relationship. In order to maintain a healthy relationship there are some fundamental things that require strengthening and attention at times.
Support
Your partner needs to know without a doubt that you support them and are there for them. Several different components are involved in creating and expressing your support. For one, make sure you are listening to your partner’s concerns about their life, day, and dreams. It’s not enough to tell your partner you know how they feel and consider their feelings validated…
Listening
You need to allow them to express their feelings while you simply listen. Paying attention to their voice and hearing the full details of what they have to say is much more beneficial than filling in the blanks on your own. More than likely, what you think they will say and what they really want to say will be starkly different.
While listening to your partner, make sure you offer words of encouragement from time to time and try to avoid negativity towards their decisions and actions. You aren’t with your partner 24 hours a day, so what they choose to tell you means a lot to them and that demands your full attention.
Their goals and values are going to be different than yours because, as close as you are, they’re not you — you should appreciate that and value their different perspectives on the world. If you offer your support and lend a listening ear, they will be motivated to show you the same courtesy when it is your time to talk.
Trust & Dependability
Two more important parts of a relationship that you should take special care to maintain are trust and dependability. Without trust, you may as well throw everything away because questioning and cynicism on a day to day basis will tear a relationship apart quickly. If you say you will do something for your partner, do it. If you say you are going to be somewhere, then be there. Keep your word!
If for some reason you’re unable to fulfill a promise, don’t weave an elaborate excuse for your behavior. After a while, it all builds up and your partner will begin to doubt what you say. Simply own up to the truth, apologize, and take special care to prevent the situation from happening again.
Over time, problems will arise in any relationship, but if you take the initiative to address them before they grow, you will help the relationship to mature.
[Image via Candida.Performa]
