Welcome to the May 9, 2012 edition of the Carnival of Online Dating! This is the twenty-eighth edition of the blog carnival, and we really appreciate those who have submitted their links for inclusion. Spread the word: The next Carnival of Online Dating will be May 23, 2012, so make sure to get your submissions in by then. It will also be our last Carnival of Online Dating, so let’s go out with a bang!
Dating Tips & Advice
- Graham Stoney presents Always Have Something To Say When Talking To Women posted at The Confident Man Project, saying, “If you worry about running out of things to say when talking to a woman, take these tips from the world of Improv.”
- Kristen Nicole presents Overcoming Geography to Find Love posted at Like Me Some Love | Dating Tips for Singles.
- justaskelle presents Baby Daddy or Husband posted at smalltowndating (soon to be Someone to Desire, a justaskelle.com production).
- Katie Sorene presents 5 Cringe-Free Cruises for Singles posted at Everything Cruises, saying, “A singles cruise can be a great place to get a date. Check out these cringe-free cruises that will plunge you into the fun of dating on the sea.”
- Mary Edwards presents 10 Facts About Men That Seem to Escape Most Women posted at Best Dating Sites, saying, “The communication barrier between male and female of the human species is an age-old dilemma. We understand that we’re wired differently, yet we’ve never quite managed to find a common language. No one is ever going to accuse men of being complex creatures, mind you, but still women fail to comprehend some fundamental truths about them.”
- Chase Amante presents Just Be Yourself: The Worst Dating Advice Known to Man posted at Chase Amante, saying, “You’ve heard the old saying… “Just be yourself!” Find out here why that’s quite possibly some of the most harmful dating advice you can possibly get – or possibly give.”
- Grace Pamer presents Why Everyone Needs A Frugal Romantic Date On The Beach Once In A While posted at Romance Never Dies, saying, “You need money for romance. Just take the example of Tony And Carol of Florida who tell all about the frugal romantic date nights they enjoy at the beach.”
- Steve Faber presents 10 More Top Romantic Places to Propose – She’ll Be Dying to Say “Yes!” posted at Propose To My Girlfriend, saying, “So, the dates went so well that you’re thinkin’ about popping the question. Here are some great places to do it.”
Personal Anecdotes
Sex and Seduction
Be sure to tune in for our final carnival! It will be May 23rd, 2012, so make sure to get your submissions in by then!
That concludes this edition. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.
Subscribe To ONLINE DATING For Dating Updates
by Kristin Marshall on April 30, 2012
When to comes to the online dating world, there are plenty of disasters waiting to happen. Although some of them are unavoidable, there are many things you can do to prevent a disastrous outcome. As you go through the process of building your online dating profile and communicating with possible matches — following up on our online dating do’s — keep in mind these online dating don’ts:
- Don’t seem desperate, even if you are. If you’re newly in contact with someone, don’t call, text or email him or her more than once a day -– unless they reply. Sure, you may feel like you’ve struck gold and are falling head-over-heels in love, but unless they’re reciprocating in some way, you need to cool those heels. Otherwise, you’ll come across as instable and desperate, and you may end the relationship before it even gets started.
- Don’t lie. We get it. Most folks add an inch to their height, or drop a couple of pounds from their weight. We’re not talking about embellishing small details. But if you suddenly declare that you’re 5’11” at 135 pounds but you really stand at 5’5” and weigh 210, you’re going to have a problem as soon as that online dating romance takes a real-world turn.
- Don’t look for the same kind of person who has hurt you in the past. Some of us are attracted to bad boys or to drama queens, but usually those things don’t work out so well. You need to break your pattern of picking potential lovers who are bad for you, and instead try to find healthy relationships.
- Don’t give it all away right away. We’re not talking about sex, here. Especially with online dating, that should come down the road. We’re talking more about exposing your deepest, darkest secrets. Yes, in the long run you want to meet someone who loves you for who you are, and who accepts your faults. However, you don’t want to advertise those faults. Let the person discover them, one at a time, rather than dumping them all at once.
- Don’t be rude. An obvious one, but we have to say it! If you do manage to land an in-person date, be on time. Don’t be rude, and don’t get drunk — two drinks is a good rule of thumb. Don’t check out other women (or other guys). Use your best manners, and just be courteous.
The online dating world is, in some ways, a minefield. Sure, you can dance across that minefield, taking extra care to step softly, but sometimes you’re just going to set someone off. Rather than tiptoeing and avoiding anything you think might be harmful to your online dating life, it’s time to accentuate the positive. It’s time to take some specific steps to improve not only your online dating profile, but your overall strategies and techniques. This may seem like tips for beginners only, but it’s always good for a refresher.
- Look your best. This should go without saying! While you don’t need to have a professional picture taken for your profile, you do need to put your best foot forward. The same goes for photos elsewhere online. If you have a bunch of beer-swilling, beer-bellied pics on your Facebook page, eventually it’s going to work against you. The same goes for when you do set up an in-person date: Grooming is essential.
- Enjoy yourself. Don’t be a downer. Sure, trying to find the love of your life is a serious and scary thing, but the fact of the matter is that folks aren’t out there looking for someone who’s going to depress them. Have a good time with it. Dating is supposed to be fun!
- Be lavish with your praise. Make sure to drop compliments whenever appropriate. Don’t be so complimentary that it comes across as fake, of course. But if you do go out on a date, tell your date how nice he or she looks. Show that your appreciate all of the time and energy they spent getting ready.
- Be interested and interesting. Don’t just talk to hear your own voice. Have a real dialogue. Ask questions. Pay attention to the answers. Identify your own areas of interest and passion, and share them succinctly. If the other person is interested in them, they’ll ask you for more.
- Be honest about your feelings. If you’re not interested in someone, say so. You might want to be kind and not hurt their feelings, but in the long run you’re better off letting them go now rather than waiting.
Welcome to the April 25, 2012 edition of the Carnival of Online Dating! This is the twenty-seventh edition of the blog carnival, and we really appreciate those who have submitted their links for inclusion. Spread the word: The next Carnival of Online Dating will be May 9, 2012, so make sure to get your submissions in by 8:59pm PST/11:59pm EST Tuesday May 8.
Dating Tips & Advice
- Ms. Free presents Unleashing Your BAD BITCH!: The Date is NOT DEAD! posted at Unleashing Your BAD BITCH!.
- Graham Stoney presents 8 Things Women Wish Men Knew posted at The Confident Man Project, saying, “Ever wonder what women are really thinking about men?”
- Persha Davis presents The Irony Of Starting Over After A Break Up posted at Dumped Days.
- Chase Amante presents Bad Dates You’ll Want to Avoid posted at Chase Amante, saying, “Ever find yourself on what turned out to really just be a bad date? Find out how to never have that happen again – follow this guide to avoiding bad dates.”
- justaskelle presents Yelling and Yanking posted at smalltowndating (soon to be Someone to Desire, a justaskelle.com production), saying, “When do you walk away from a toxic relationship?”
- Graham Stoney presents How to Feel Confident in Conversations posted at The Confident Man Project, saying, “If you want to feel confident talking to hot women, start by feeling confident in conversations generally.”
- Grace Pamer presents How to Put a Flash Mob Marriage Proposal Together posted at Romance Never Dies, saying, “If you really want to make your marriage proposal memorable then why not consider arranging a flash mob to help melt your partners heart?”
- willow presents Masks and Emotional Vampires Here, There and Online posted at Vigilance Musings.
- Jon Rhodes presents How to Spot a Liar posted at HypnoBusters, saying, “This article shows you how to spot if someone is lying to you.”
Personal Anecdotes
Sex & Seduction
Be sure to tune in every 1st and 3rd Wednesdays for more! The next Carnival of Online Dating will be May 9th, 2012, so make sure to get your submissions in by 8:59pm PST/11:59pm EST Tuesday May 8th!
That concludes this edition. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.
Subscribe To ONLINE DATING For Dating Updates
by Kristin Marshall on April 24, 2012
Sometimes, it may seem like college dates get old real fast as the one thing you both seem to have in common is that you’re probably broke, and after a few dinners and trips to the bars, there’s not much more to do. Hanging around is fine with your friends, but it is hard to start up an engaging relationship around food and alcohol only. It’s fun for you and your friends because you already know each other, but if you’re dating, you need fun activities to break the ice. Here are some ideas that may not have occurred to you without a little aid.
One great source of college dates if you’re both at least a little athletically inclined is to see what recreational activities your college offers. Swimming while you have that fresh spark between you can be a great time, and even if you’ve have been dating for awhile, it could be fun to have a new place to interact and fool around in the water. If your school has racquetball or tennis courts, they can also be fun places to work up a sweat. You can create your own rules depending on each of your athletic abilities and you will find conversation naturally occurs while playing because you have something in common to talk about right there. An added bonus is exercise releases endorphins and you’ll both be in a great mood after playing.
If sports are not your thing, or if your college doesn’t have a great recreational center, you may at least consider taking a nature walk. Ok, it sounds boring, but it doesn’t have to be — bring along snacks and a blanket! It gets you out of the house and sights will at least give you something to talk about. If you’re a little bit athletic, you could turn it into a bicycle ride.
Switching up gears a little, you may find inspiration in your activities from childhood. Try going to an art museum or the zoo for the afternoon. Both offer you a change of pace and scenery, and have plenty of built in conversation builders. What are your favorite pieces? What animal would you be? Even going to a school playground in the area may be fun as stories from your childhood are sure to come up — before long you could find yourself competing and showing off on the jungle gym or swings. Being a child is something you both share experiences from, so don’t be embarrassed go ahead and share them, believe it or not, you’ll have fun.
Definitely keep your eye out for festivals around campus and the town you live in. At some point, there are sure to be local festivals or activities that you can take part in that can shape a great date night. Take advantage of all of them so you keep your dating life fresh.
From a small town to a big city, if you start to feel like you’re dating the same type of person, or that you’ve run out of eligible partners, it’s probably because you’ve gotten yourself into a routine and/or social circle that only holds so many prospects. Even if you feel like there is no one new to date or is worth a shot to date, you know that can’t be true — there are billions of people in the world. This is why many people have turned to online dating to find new potential dating matches.
There’s a certain thrill to meeting up with someone you have only been dating online, because people are more apt to open themselves up and let each other see their true colors online. When you’re dating online, you simply have to close a window to get out of a conversation, and know you will never have to hear from that person again, so you are more likely to take a risk, which often pays off.
Of course, it should be noted that the same way you let your guard down because you know the other person can’t see you, the other person knows you cannot see them as well. You’re definitely putting yourself at risk of being taken advantage of or even placing yourself into potential dangerous situation if you’re not protecting your privacy. It’s easy for someone to say they’re a well-mannered guy, but the truth is, you could be speaking to someone who doesn’t have the best of intentions. Don’t let this discourage you, though! But the point does need to be made. Always meet a potential date in a public place so you’re out in the open. Have a plan just in case things go south — there are nifty mobile apps out there that can help you get out of a disaster date.
Negativity aside, there are many stories of people who actually meet their matches online. How? Well, I believe it’s a combination of luck, timing, and work. Work? Yes! You should keep you profile fresh and reach out to possible matches as often as you can, sometimes it comes down to a numbers game, as bad as it sounds. Online dating gives you the ability to filter many people at once according to your preferences — imagine if you could do this in real life! If other methods are getting you down, perhaps you should consider jumping on an online dating site.
Get Started
If thoughts of breaking have been racing through your mind lately, it means you may be dangerously close to getting sucked into a black hole you will not be able to escape from. Once that thought worms its way into you or your partner’s head, every action, fight, and small mistake will figuratively be added to the file of reasons why a break up should happen. Instead of thinking of ways to combat the problems you’re facing, you’re creating a strong case of why you should not even bother. If you catch yourself thinking that way, you should act right away to solve the problems in your relationship before you cross the point of no return.
If you’re still able to communicate, you need to sit down with your partner and express your feelings and tell them what you feel is causing problems in your relationship. Most issues exist because each party wrongly assumes they know what the other is thinking, and build their case from there. Communication goes both ways, so in order for you to effectively validate the problems in your relationship, you need to allow them the opportunity to express how they’re feeling as well. Showing them that despite your overwhelming feelings, you too can sit back and take the time to listen to their feelings will strengthen their faith and trust in you and help to build a stronger bond between the two of you.
After you have the talk, give one another some space. At this point, emotions are running high and some time should pass before you can objectively begin to address the problems that exist between you. Things will not get better overnight, but they will have the best chance if you reopen the lines of communication and allow some time for both points of view to register.
While your partner is taking some time to think about what you’ve said, show them why you should be together and why the relationship is worth working for. Remember the excitement you felt at the beginning of your relationship, when everything was new and wonderful. Relive that feeling by digging yourself out of the rut you have fallen into. Instead of a movie every Friday night, take part in new activities together to try and rediscover that thrill. Perhaps a weekend camping will reinvigorate your spark or, if you live by a lake or ocean, try waterskiing. Sharing new activities together is a great way to bond while working out the problems within the relationship. Give one other a reason to smile, and it will be much easier to connect and communicate effectively to head down the path of a happy, successful relationship.
It’s the perfect time to get to spring cleaning, so why not include your online dating profile? After a while, many things may become stale and out of date, so give yourself the best chance of finding a match! But, what to focus on? Here are a few suggestions on how you can spring clean your online dating profile into tip-top shape.
- Hobbies – Have you taken up any new hobbies? If you went to a ceramics class and discovered that you’re more arts and crafts rather than Michelangelo, that’s ok! Strut your stuff on your profile either way, your various hobbies make you more interesting!
- Profile Photos – How old is your profile photo? How stale are the rest of your photos? The basic rule of thumb is that your primary profile picture should be less than a year old. If it’s an old photo, especially if it doesn’t represent how you currently look, take a new photo. Need some inspiration? Head outside and take a few spring or summer themes photos to liven up your profile.
- Interests – You may have quite a few interests listed, so be sure to go over that section, too! Your favorite author may be listed as Shakespeare, but if you’ve just stumbled upon George R. R. Martin’s Game of Thrones series, and you’ve discovered a new love of the sci-fi genre, you may want to add that. People on online dating sites are looking for a connection, so show a bit of variety in your interests.
- Other – So, you know those fill-in-the-blank and multiple choice questions you completed — or didn’t complete — when you first signed up? Don’t forget about them! Something you chose a while back may not apply now. Did you quit drinking? Is any of your personal info out of date? Be sure to go through all of the sections in your profile to give it a nice, fresh update.
There are definitely stereotypes when it comes to women and sports, but they’re being shattered every day by amazing female athletes and women who enjoy watching sports. But what do you do when you’d like to watch sports with your guy, but you’re so lost? Here are a few do’s and don’ts for watching sports with him.
- DO listen. If his team is going through a rough patch, let him vent. If they just scored massively, give him a high five! Just show him that you’re there to listen, even if it’s about poor play calls and you don’t quite follow. Don’t simply smile and nod, be sincere about it — this is important to him.
- DO have fun. I learned a lot about sports just by watching. I didn’t have a brother to teach me, and my dad wasn’t so interested, but I had guy friends that were more than willing to answer any questions I had. You can learn, too! Sit back and take it all in. If you watch enough, you can pick up on different plays and rules — impress your guy!
- DO watch it with him. Go for it! Sit down with him to watch the game, and he’ll enjoy the company. If you’re genuinely interested in the game, and learning more about the sport, he’ll appreciate that you’re connecting with him on one of his favorite things.
- DON’T interrupt him. During a heated part of the game, nothing annoys guys more than if you’re continually talking. It’s great to ask questions, but he’s probably super-focused on the action. He doesn’t want to miss that history-making move! If you have a question, definitely go for it — just wait for a commercial, time out, or other break in game action.
- DON’T take his mood to heart. On a final note, don’t take offense to a (possible) bad mood. So, if the team your guy is rooting for isn’t exactly doing well, he might be a little grumpy. Don’t take offense if he gets snappy if you ask a question just after a heated moment, or if screams at the TV. This stuff happens often, and is just another part of how he enjoys watching the game.
You may want a real relationship right now, but are you ready for one? I know I’ve been in the situation before where all I wanted was to be in that comfortable spot of couplehood, but that was the problem exactly — I wasn’t comfortable alone. Once you work on yourself can you only begin to consider a relationship. Here are a few signs you may not be ready for a relationship, and what you can do to get there.
You Feel “Off”
So, you’re out on a date with this awesome guy or girl, but they’re not someone who you’d normally get with. Oh, but he’s a bad boy. Oh, she’s wild. I need that right now. If your inner “radar” keeps pointing you towards the wrong people, you may not be ready for a relationship. This can happen when you’re subconsciously trying to sabotage the relationship before it really begins. If he or she’s not relationship material, why bother? If you’re looking for a relationship, that is. If you’re convinced that you can change this bad boy/player/slut/material girl/insert-negative-term-here, well, stop to think. Do you really believe that you can change him or her? You may be turned off of forming a deeper relationship right now.
You Need Someone To Feel Happy
Do you feel bummed unless you’re with someone? Are you turning down invites to events because you don’t have that special someone to bring? Don’t spend your time sitting home by yourself feeling forever alone. Even if you go out solely to meet someone, in this mindset, you’d probably end up strangling the relationship to death with your neediness. Find what makes you happy before you’re in a relationship so you can share that with someone later.
You’re Trying To Fit Into Their World
Do you find yourself trying to be something or someone other than who you are? Not good. If you’re often trying to change something about yourself in order to seem more attractive to that guy or girl you just met, then you’re probably not ready for a relationship. Be more confident! Love yourself before loving someone else.
You’re Looking For Someone To Complete You
“You complete me” sounds so romantic, but it really isn’t how you should start a relationship. It’s more like, “you complement me.” When you’re a whole person — someone with unique interests and personality — finding someone else to complement those things will feel amazing.
